The Big Move

So I've been in Buffalo nearly a week now, and I feel it's high time to blog about the experience thus far. The move began last Friday when Sarah and I embarked on what should have been about a 6 hour drive. Because of rush hour traffic on a Friday before a holiday weekend, it took over 7.5 hours, and we didn't get into my new apartment until after 9 pm. It was rather quiet and pretty weird being here with almost no furniture, because my parents were bringing the rest of the stuff in a U-haul later. So we slept (or at least tried to) and then woke up the next morning and began to unpack. It was a somewhat stressful and incredibly exhaustive first day. We accomplished a lot of things, but it definitely took a lot of hard work. Saturday night we tried to go out a bit and have a dinner, but a grump neighbor next door informed me Cooper had been barking the whole time we were out and that there is a police man who lives upstairs next door that works nights and sleeps days. The man was rather rude and blunt about saying how this would be a problem, and so that kind of ruined my night. Fortunately, Cooper has since calmed down a good bit and hardly barks at all, like his usual self. However, Cooper does sleep a lot, and I think he's sad about the move. This leads me to the main point of this blog. I'm not sure I'm ready to live on my own in the "real world." I know plenty of people are moving out for the first time and experiencing new and different things. I by no means intend to belittle anyone else's current journey's, but I feel mine is a bit different because not only have I moved out, but I've gone 6 hours away to a big city where I know literally no one. It's been a bit boring and incredibly lonely to this point, but I guess that's what I asked for. Every day I wonder why I decided to move in early. I've even contemplated packing up some things and going back home for another month, though I know this would not be a good idea in the long run. I'm hoping things start to turn around soon, and I've been doing little things every day to keep myself busy so that I don't think about it too much. The two highlights of my day are always exploring new areas of town by taking Cooper on a long walk and talking to Sarah every night. For some reason, I feel relaxed and at least somewhat comfortable when doing these things. I guess ultimately this will be a really good chance to prove to myself that I can make it on my own. I don't just mean financially and responsibly, but actually existing alone, with just my thoughts and a few little things to get me by. Hopefully I will have a job in the near future that occupies some of my time and allows me to meet some new people in town, but until then, I'm trying really hard to understand who I am before I settle in to classes this fall. Hopefully I find something I like and that I can live with, but right now I'm just a bit depressed and lonely (as is Cooper). Here's to hoping for brighter days (despite the fact that the weather has been absolutely gorgeous this first week.)

New Direction

With the ever-approaching departure for a semester of studying abroad in London, I realize the need and desire to document my thoughts, excursions, experiences, and whatever else comes my way while overseas. Hopefully, if nothing else, this blog will serve as a reminder of everything I do and see while in London and other countries through my three months out of the states. So, from here on out whatever thoughts, fears, or expectations I have for the coming semester, I will post to this blog. Read along, ask questions, and open your mind to the life-experiences I am about to undergo.

Road

Sure you're on a road
And it's long and straight
But does it go somewhere?
Or do you follow fate?

You say what you want
And you've got it right
But is your aim set steady?
And your eye in sight?

My discontented tendencies
Will spin you around
But that's a whole lot better
Than your feet on the ground
You've got your heart still stuck
In two years ago
When I walked out of your world
And set your feet on go.

Travel

I've denied myself for nineteen years
That you can show me who I am
I've held on to all of my fears
That you can slowly break my dam

Now I find in blue, open skies
That you want to know who am I
Yet still I've failed in all my tries
And need to ask you where, what, and why?

So I take these steps one by one
And pray some day that I'll be undone
And you'll see what you've always known
That I'm not finished, I'm not grown.